“This is crazy, I can’t expect to do this…this isn’t for me.” I muttered this a couple weeks ago as I looked over another giant hill on my mountain bike and decided not to ride down it.  As I held down my brakes, my mind was convinced that there is a certain type of hill I am able to ride down and this clearly was not one of them.

( This is just the path and I promise the hill was much steeper then this )

As I walked down the hill I took a moment to reflect and had a brief flash of insight. I had really just created a story about what was and was not possible – out of thin air. I realized that the belief that I couldn’t make it down that steep hill was completely made up.So I decided to test it. I decided to go down another hill just like it (and several more) and the ride was one of the most exhilarating I can remember. When I was done, I spent a little time thinking about what I would have missed if I had given in to the voice in my head.  Luckily, on that day I was able to pause and see that I was getting in my own way.  So without pausing from time to time, how do you and I know what is really possible for ourselves especially in our personal and professional life? If things are good for you now, what would make them great? What exhilarating hills are you passing up and not realizing it?

We will be exploring these ideas and more at our next course at The Center for Intentional Leadership on June 24-25. Contact me at jon@centerforintentionalleadership.com if you want more information.  Enjoy your week.

So I turned 32 this past week. And I received a card with the below message from my amazing co-workers. Here is what it said on the front:

“We didn’t come here to fit in.

We came here to be who we are.

We didn’t come here to work.

We came here to live our dreams.

We didn’t come here for the stuff.

We came here to love each other.

We each came here with a purpose

that is uniquely our own.”

Then on the inside it said:

“Be

Dream

Love

Thrive

Always.”

I was blown away. My first reaction was did they have it custom made or was it from an Avett Brothers song?

There is nothing better than being at a place where I can be who I am. I definitely let out a Coldplay yell (the refrain from Viva La Vida if you don’t know me) once I got the card. And I am at a place where I am really living my dream. I came to make a difference that starts with loving people. And there is no accident that I am in the place I am right now. Because I get to fully live out my purpose each day. And I don’t ever want to forget that. I just want to make the biggest impact I can but also be the most down to earth person I can be. And what I am doing is just the game I choose to play. So it is no more important or less important than what anyone else is doing.

But I am sure having a lot of fun. And I want everyone around me to thrive in the process. So at 32, I am just excited to see what shows up this year. And I am so appreciative of all the amazing friends, co-workers and family in my life. And appreciative of a greeting card that seemed to have a message uniquely for me. Or was it a message for everyone?

I received an incredible email this past week that showed me the power of the human spirit. I have been doing some work at a local high school to help student leaders create change and bring unity to the student body. Below is an email I got from one of them about the actions she is taking to cause this to happen.  Sometimes it just takes intentional actions like this to create a ripple effect of compassion. I was completely blown away by #2 and names are changed to keep their information confidential.

1) I want to give a compliment to someone everyday, because its important for a person to feel great about themselves so that they are able to have a positive mind throughout the day! It builds someones confidence and its just a caring detail!

 
2) My second goal is to call Sammie! He is someone that I have reached out to because I felt that he had no friends! He is blind and I felt that he is missing out on having a friendship in high school! He may have people around him sometimes but I want to be a person that he can call a friend and connect with! I have been so busy that I have not had the chance to contact him! 

Absolutely amazing.  Have a great week.

I thought you may enjoy this distinction with the word impossible.

And I really love this quote below.

So what matters most to me? Well during my recent personal retreat back in January, I came up with my own core values. I wanted to have something that guided my everyday actions similar to how organizations identify their own values.

1. Be guided by purpose

I defined my purpose as to help people embrace and expand their best and most authentic self. It helps me connect to something larger than myself. It gets me back on track when my ego or that “need to be right” feeling creeps in.

2. Love, sense and serve

This is one of the most important values. When it comes down to it for me, coming from a place of love is all I really need to do. And what I mean by sensing is pausing to really listen to what people tell me they need. Not what I think they need. And then be of service. Both to people and to my community.

3. Be a well-being 

Taking care of myself physically and mentally with exercise and nutrition is so important. My grandfather really inspired me when I watched him live such a healthy, full life. Being healthy allows me to be better for others. This also means resting and taking plenty of time to re-charge when I need to. It means being careful about over-scheduling myself and being ok saying “no.” And it means taking time to write, do things that re-create me or relax and do nothing.

4. Be the message

I know the impact I want to make will really be a reflection of my actions. Am I living in a way that everything and everyone matters? Are my actions aligning with my word? What are the messages people get from the way I live my life?

5. Learn and live in abundance

I sure know I will never have it all figured out. This is why I love reading and learning new things. And learning more about myself everyday and uncovering new blind spots. This also means living with the idea that I have everything I need. When time and resources feel scarce to me, I don’t appreciate what I have and can have the mentality of “if I only had this…” I really have everything I need both with my talents and resources. And to be abundance with them.

6. Bring full self to every moment

This means being real, authentic, passionate and just appreciating who I am. I know I am an unusual cat, but I embrace that. I may have some pretty questionable dance moves at times, but I will still carve up the dance floor. And most importantly, I won’t let moods guide my behavior. Most of the time I am not dying to go for a run at 6am on a cold morning. But when I am done, I feel incredible.

7. Take it slow and be present

This reminds me that sometimes I just need to slow down not be in such a rush. And be comfortable letting things unfold instead of forcing them or being too eager. And sometimes I can be impatient with things like my career growth, etc. So this reminds me to focus on enjoying the small moments and the journey. And to be “all-in” when I do something and not side-tracked with distractions. Which is why I am meditating more so I can practice presence and focus. What is counterintuitive is that slowing down and being present is what allows me to go fast and be more productive.

8. Everything and everyone matters

I never want people to feel “less than” because of how I act. Each person I work with and come into contact with really matters. My environment and the nature around me matters. How I take care of my condo matters. Sometime it is the little details that make the biggest difference for me.

9. Be fun and versatile

I love having some fun and making people laugh. Sometimes I laugh at my own jokes even before I start to tell them. And this reminds me that life really isn’t that serious. It is serious and it is not. And versatile means to be flexible and not have any rules that may limit my ability to enjoy life. And the versatility to have different skills/gears to serve what the situation needs.

Hope you enjoyed them. I actually let this sit for a couple months to see if they really covered every idea that was important to me. I tried to focus on 5-7 but ended up adding a few of them recently to fill in some gaps. I sure had a lot of fun writing and reflecting on these. Now you just have to keep me accountable to them .

So what are your most important values? I would love to hear from you. Happy Easter to you and your family.

My neighbor was outside near my patio and wanted to say hello. However, I could hardly say hello and definitely didn’t have time to chat. I was in a hurry again heading to the airport. And I felt terrible as a drove away having rushed off when a friend just wanted to catch up for a few minutes.

Later that night I was at an amazing dinner in Arizona at this place called Different Pointe of View that overlooked the mountains.

And probably still in a pattern of hurrying. As soon as we got our salads, I was almost ready for the entrees. Until a co-worker said lets slow down and just enjoy this meal. It was just what I needed. The chance to pause, really slow down and experience dinner. We were there for four hours and had an incredible time.

A few days later, we took a three hour hike up the mountains. We had some tunes going and just had a blast. The three hour hike felt like a whole day.

It was like my 25th hour idea all over again. If only I could keep reminding myself .

As much as I strive to be present and create more space, I can still fall into this pattern of rushing and hurrying sometimes. So I have started to think about…what am I in such a hurry for? I sure don’t want to miss life. I read this quote from the Dalai Lama recently that sums it all up.

(source)

So this week I invite you to experience what you are doing more and take it slow. It made a difference for me and hopefully my neighbor will notice next time.

Below is an interview with Lynn Caldwell who is the market manager at Atherton Mill Market.  It is another one in my “Follow your Passion” series. Lynn gave a few of us bloggers in town a private market tour last fall. She is an extraordinary person that is making a huge difference in Charlotte. Hope you enjoy.

Lynn, thanks so much for talking with me for my series called “Follow your Passion.”  So tell us all a little bit more about what you do at the Atherton Market.

Hi Jon.  I do a little bit of everything at the market. I was originally engaged to vision it, and do vendor recruitment as well as manage day-to-day operations, but my role  has evolved to encompass community building around the market, consumer education, and engaging other businesses and organizations in Charlotte in partnerships and shared efforts.  I want the market to become a hub – not just for shopping and meeting tangible human needs but for creating connections between people.  I truly believe that people want to be connected to each other in real ways and because of something meaningful.  People want something to believe in, and that something ties them together.  I spend a great deal of time listening.  Sometimes it is interesting and sometimes it is not, and I’m sure the people who listen to me feel the same way.  I am grateful for them, and for those who want to share some piece of their life – their passions or their dreams or their talent – with me and the market.

How did you identify this as a potential career path?  What were you doing before you started this venture and why did you make the change?

Ha – if I tried to map my career journey it would only make sense to me, but I can truly say that what I am doing now draws from everything else I’ve done.  I started on the restaurant scene in the late 80s, getting experience in the front and the back of the house.  Let’s just say I have a short attention span and also like to explore every potential role when I am part of an organization.  I left there to work for a company that does Human Resources support, and gained experience in accounting, training, and software support.  I then went to work for one of our members – Microsoft.  I was there for 9 years, both here and in Redmond.  In the Northwest I came to appreciate good coffee and farmers markets.  In my 9 years at Microsoft I did everything from support to user education to building an Office Developer community to marketing.  I left to be a Mom, though I stayed on as a contractor for the press group working from home.  I got tired of technology, and in a signature-Lynn move did a 180 and accepted an invitation to apprentice to an urban farmer running a CSA off of a half acre in Plaza Midwood.  I learned a lot, but farming was clearly not my thing.  However, in the many hours spent hoeing (there’s a joke there somewhere) and weeding, I began to hatch a plan with the farmer to start an urban tailgate market.  I fortuitously attended a seminar in Fletcher, NC where I met Nina Planck, who continues to be my “muse” in regard to markets and “real food.”  We had our first market on the little piece of green beside the Common Market in PM and that is where my market journey began.  We operated two seasons there, two in South End until the tent from hell collapsed, and then an opportunity emerged to take my passion indoors at Atherton Mill and pull all of my skills together to do this thing.

I always hear people talking about the importance of not being afraid to fail.  The idea that sometimes when you follow your passion or make a big change, there is no way of knowing how it will turn out when you start.  How did you handle those thoughts?  Did you have to take some risks along the way and was it hard to make the change knowing you were leaving a secure job?

There were many times in those first days in Plaza Midwood when I was sure people were laughing at me, not that I much cared.  Days when no vendors showed up, or worse, no customers.  I got more “nos” than affirmations when trying to establish partnerships. But I dug deep and decided to rely on my passion for writing to try and get beyond the early hurdles that sometimes felt insurmountable.  I was fortunate to have a supporting and loving partner who was gainfully employed, and willing to let me try this.

I don’t do a lot of second guessing.  I decide what I’m going to do and I find a way to do it.  It doesn’t always work, and I’m learning when to back off.  But in this case writing made the difference.  I started a blog and got on my soap box.  I got a few fans who were connected with what the market needed to grow.  And I spent a great deal of time meeting farmers, getting my head around their issues, and taking a stand for them in a very public way.  I still do a lot of that, for farmers and artisans who are creating products with integrity.  I’ve upset some apple carts, but I am not afraid of change, taking a chance, or taking risks.  Nothing worthwhile happens without that, whether it is an individual effort or a team.

I love hearing when people find a career that brings them real purpose.  When I came by to visit you I remember you talking about your vision for the vendors you have at the market. That it really meant a lot for you to provide a place for their businesses to succeed and thrive. Can you talk more about this idea and why it is important to you?

I admire people who inspire me with their passion and aren’t afraid of hard work.  Those are minimal requirements for any farmer or business who is bound for success.  I have also spent the last handful of years immersed in educating myself about the importance of local food and building the local economy – most consumers aren’t aware that the infrastructure of big ag is crumbling.  We need to have systems and resources in place at the local level to be ready to meet the inevitable demand.   Sourcing from local small businesses will no longer be a luxury, it will be a necessity to survive.   That is not chicken little.  That is inevitable.   We’re planning for the future.

How have you felt both personally and professionally about doing something you love since you started at Atherton Mill Market?  How did it all turn out for you now that you have been there for almost 3 years?

We’ve been open since May of 2010.  Personally it has been a rollercoaster – riding the highs of the good times and confronting the challenges.  Experiencing a great deal of frustration in figuring out the Charlotte consumer mindset and attaching to their priorities, and maybe changing them a little.  Meeting people where they are and embracing them (figuratively speaking and sometimes literally… I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with hugs).  I have grown so much as a person.  Learning to lead, guide, listen, building our tribe.  Letting the spirit of the market whisper to us what is next.  I have an idea of where we are headed, but I try to maintain enough flexibility to change as it becomes necessary.  We’ve come a long way, which is easy to forget when I’m there, in it every day.  We have a long way to go and grow, and I hope you’ll come along with us on the journey.

Any advice to readers out there contemplating a career change?

Don’t be afraid to follow your heart.  Maybe try it as a side gig first, and maybe that will be enough, but life is too short to spend the majority of it slogging along down a path that drains the life juice out of you.  Find ways to connect with people who are doing what you suspect you want to do.  Surround yourself with people who can energize you and infuse you with confidence and direction.  Don’t overthink everything.  Don’t be afraid to fail boldly.  And no whining.

So go see Lynn and her crew at the Atherton Mill Market. You can feel the energy she has created when you walk in the market. And her perspective on work and life is so refreshing. She really took a stand for what she was passionate about and then was intentional about causing the change to happen. And now she created a space for others to do the same. That is the essence of co-creating a world where one plus one is more than two. Have a great week.

I had just spotted someone I thought I knew but couldn’t figure how or why I knew him. So I walked up to this guy and asked, “wait a minute, do you do leadership development work?” He said “Yes, of course.” It was Mike Whitehead who is the CEO of my current company at The Center for Intentional Leadership.

I had never met Mike until that day at TEDxCharlotte 2011. I had been trying to figure out how I could follow my passion and told a dean at Davidson College about my ideas. He told me I should contact Mike, but I never did. It was like the universe had finally brought us together. So after that first conversation and several others, I went to work with Mike and pursue a career that allows me to fully live out my purpose. And I couldn’t be happier.

I will always be grateful for TEDxCharlotte. Of course I go nuts for all the videos and an amazing day listening to the most innovative minds in our city. However, even bigger than that is how the event brings together like minded people who think with unlimited possibility.

The theme this year was actually “Unlimited.” Like uncommon, remarkable, exceptional or even unusual. It was an inspiring day throughout that started with a rousing talk from J.D. Lewis from the Twelve in Twelve Foundation. J.D. traveled with his two boys around the world doing humanitarian work in 12 countries over the course of a year. He spoke about the the power of re-creating our own stories. And reminded us that the only person who usually limits us is ourself.

Charles Thomas from Queen City Forward had one of my favorite quotes of the day which was “let’s turn people less fortunate than us from deficits to assets.”

I loved hearing the authentic stories from Molly Barker from Girls on the Run and Robin Emmons from Sow Much Good. Molly gave a powerful speech about creating a new type of conversation in our country. One that starts with listening and compassion. She reminded us that at the core of leadership is authenticity and vulnerability.

I loved what Robin shared about how we have to take a stand for what is possible in ourselves. She reminded us that we are not here to live a scripted life. We are here to be seen, be heard and make a difference in the lives of others. She was awesome.

And it was tough to not be fired up after hearing the passionate speeches from Chad Henderson at NODA Brewery and Cassie Parsons from Harvest Moon Grille. I could on and on about the rest of an extraordinary speaker lineup.

In 2011, TEDxCharlotte put me on a path to just “going for it” with my life. There is something special about being in a room full of incredible, forward thinking people. When the day was over, I was completely charged up and energized. I think the organizers sure got it right, because I left feeling unlimited.

I was pretty blown away by this stat in a book I am reading called Presence.  The research was from Howard Gardner’s Project Zero at Harvard that compared intelligence tests for babies and older people.

“The researchers found that up to age four, almost all the children were at the genius level, in terms of the multiple frames of intelligence that Gardner talks about – spatial, kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, mathematical, interpersonal, and linguistic. But by age twenty, the percentage children at genius level was down to 10 percent, and over twenty, the genius level sank to 2 percent.”

So what happens over those 16 yrs and beyond that creates this dramatic drop? The author references a Stanford Business School professor named Michael Ray who talks about how as we get older we encounter the “fear, judgment and chattering of the mind” called the “Voice of Judgment.” And this Voice of Judgment slowly pulls us away from our best or “genius” self. It limits our creativity and ultimately our happiness. And then we forget we even had this genius.

We were completely wide open when we were 4 yrs old. We didn’t have these deeply held beliefs about how the world is that limit us or make us feel that we “have to do” certain things. We didn’t have that little voice inside our head that says “that’s a stupid idea” or “you have to do it this way” or ”you can’t do that.” We had the power of choices. And we just ripped it up and lived in the moment.

Steve Job’s certainly figured this out in one my favorite quotes… “Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is – everything around that you call life, was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.”

Like Steve and other innovative minds, we had this simple genius when we were 4 yrs old. We still have this genius, it is just covered up by years of listening to the Voice of Judgment. So I invite you to drown out that old voice and reconnect with your 4 yr old self. You may just find yourself back in a world of endless possibility.